So damn excited to share this site I’ve been working on for months. Not too much longer! http://skateletters.com/
Time for a lengthy blog post about my feelings and emotions because I haven’t done that in a while and it’s ALWAYS good to get it out.
Here it goes.
Today, I had to attend an ethics class all damn day (on my birthday) for some poor choices I made a few months ago. The teacher was super down to earth and really connected with all of the students and I. Anyway, long story short, we talked about depression, victims, positive and negative mindsets, karma, etc. etc.
It got me thinking about my past and how I’ve gotten to where I am today. We discussed multiple types of depression. One of those forms of depression we talked about (i’m not quite sure if there is a name for it) was when someone forms a “wall” around themselves and pushes everyone and anything out from their life. And with that, they attempt to fill their days with tons of things to do, to keep busy and not think about their problems. Pretty similar to using substances to mask your “problems” except with busy work.
Well! It finally clicked in my head that I was definitely (and possibly still could be?) depressed the past 2 years. Maybe not as much now, that’s for sure. But 2 years ago, there was a lot going on in my life, especially relationship-wise which really dragged me down.
So, of course, what I did was I created tons of “personal projects” and other random things here and there to fill my day so I wouldn’t have to think about every shitty thing in my life at the time.
Essentially, this “depression” is why I have and continue to work so hard. I try to keep myself constantly doing something to mask out my problems. Of course, in the long run it’s probably not the best emotionally, but it has done wonders for my career.
I believe everything happens for a reason. And even this ethics class, (which may seem incredibly shitty to a lot of people) had an impact on me, because here I am writing about it and how the teacher finally said the words I’ve been needing to hear for years.
All in all, I’m somewhat thankful for that depression that occurred. And at the same time, somewhat angry at myself for letting a lot of friends slip from my life. But, like I said, everything happens for a reason and I know that to this day, I’m MUCH better off than I was 2 years ago.
To conclude, I guess that’s how I got to where I am today. Letting go of my past, staying above the negativity, keeping to myself, working hard, and following my bliss.
Thanks for reading if you got this far! This post was mostly for myself of course. I never tell anyone this kinda stuff, SO why not post it online for thousands to read?!
It is SO good to be back home after a wonderful trip to Georgia. I’m more motivated and inspired than ever. Time to kick some ass.